Evil is influence. When I influence I tug at the heart strings and engage an audience with an overwhelming portrait of sadness, beauty, depravity, graphic horror. Key to this demonstration is that in trying to engineer an effect I subject myself to the very influences I'm building into the performance. My embodiment as the performer doesn't shield me from the message. Instead it's reinforced. I subjected myself to my own psychological experiment, and I made myself the guinea pig.
Engaging this persona of evil I seek serenity. I accomplish this serenity as a feeling of unmediated engagement with the world depicted in my terse harangue. In this moment of creation I engage with that revelatory moment continually. This is how I juice myself. In this I find serenity.
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