Heaven isn't for introverts

The platitudes delivered to others in the throes of death, old age, or after loss is that one's friends, loved ones,  and pets will be there with them on the other side.

Rubbish.

First, this demand to never let go of those we love, to never accept their disappearance from one's life and from this earth is a selfish impulse. To address that with a platitude that heaven is a big happy house where they will all be and that while those who mourn their passing and can never let go can rest assured that their lost loves are in good hands.

Rubbish.

They're dead. Gone. Forever dust. The thing that was them, while unique and specific to their circumstances, is one of countless billions that came before who were also unique and specific to their circumstances.

Second, to those who really don't need people around all the time. Heaven sounds like hell. To mangle some Sartre: 'hell is other people.' Why would an introvert want to go to heaven if the balance of narratives one is told about it makes it sounds like one big party where everyone is laughing, smiling, and getting on. In short, it's the same social din that confuses and frustrates the introvert.

I don't want to go to hell, if it is as Sartre describes it. And I don't want to go to heaven if it is as the apologists describe it.

They're the same place.

Nope, I'll fend off too much chatter right here in my little quiet and shaded corner of this world until I return to the oblivion from which I came. My heaven, my church is in attaining excellence in dealing with other people fairly and without any pretense about motives or feelings. So if I'm not having a good time, I'll do my best to politely bow out of a situation. And if they're not having a good time, I'll do what I can within my power to address it by either attempting to be more social or, once again, bowing out.

To be caught in some ardor triangle or to have to wade through a crowd of friends to reach out to someone is not my idea of a good time. Mine is a one on one experience, and my god, those are few and far between in this world if only by virtue of the published lives so many of us live.

I don't want to be conveniently located at the swipe of a finger. I don't want to be constantly on and swiping through others' telepresent self-publications in cookie cutter device applications. I just want some peace and quiet. So please, don't invite me to your big party in heaven or your big party on earth. Don't guilt me into any number of silly situations that you constructed for your own ego. Please, just understand that not everyone wants to be with others, countless others all the goddamned time. Some of us cherish being alone, and we're not being arrogant or selfish or cranky when we refuse to join you or leave early, at least not intentionally so.