I am not a vampire.

I am not a vampire. I am a fool.

I talk your ear off.

I can't dance.

I am not that pretty.

I am afraid to express myself. I can only act.

My act has two parts. First I meet you. Then I expend your last shred of patience.

I violate my own stage. Watch out. I'll violate yours.

Vampires are undead.

You wish I was dead.